A Friend In Need Is A Friend To Be Avoided
How do YOU define a true friend? To me a friend, it is just another character that comes and goes. A friend can be life saver or ruin your life. It was about three years ago when I had a true friend, or at least that’s how it seemed to me. I was a sophomore in high school. As I was sitting in my ESOL class, a medium height brunet with brown eyes and very little muscles walked into my class. She was wearing every kind of color. My thoughts went back to the day when I first walked into a class with many different languages spoken. The teacher asked her to introduce herself. She clearly stated her name. It was Bozena Bakula. Not an everyday name but it was easy for the teacher and some of our classmates. When I first saw Bozena I didn’t think she would know the language as well as I did. I came to the country 5 years before she did. I was ready to help her out in any way I could. Once the class was over with she asked the teacher couple more questions and right there I knew she was a smart young lady. Not many people can speak the language while they live out of United States. I figure it would be easier for me so that way I didn’t have to translate as much. The next couple of days she was helping me with my homework. She had been in the states for a week and she was already helping me with my homework. I could say that I was a little ashamed. On the other hand she would say that’s what friends are for. I always wondered how other people defined friendship.
True friend – A friend who supports their own friends through emotional difficulties. This term also denotes a large degree of altruism, in that the true friend often sacrifices something of his or her own (usually their time and resources) in order to help the friend in need. True friends also are known to be very rare. A true friend may not be your best friend but someone who you know will be there for you.
In the beginning, I thought Bozena and I had so much in common. It seemed like we became sisters immediately. Many school days passed by. Bozena was a senior and her graduation was just around the corner. I was very sad to see her leave. She went to a nearby community college where she wanted to become an engineer. As a day, week, month and a year passed by I realized I have found a true friend. Bozena came to the country with her parents. It didn’t take long for me to meet them. Both of her parents looked very old compare to my parents. I knew she had two other siblings who were a lot older then her. I kind of felt an obligation to help her out since she helped me in school and we were becoming such good friends. As time passed by I used to take Bozena to school and to her job at the Movie Stop. It was a very good job for her. Her parents couldn’t work many hours so she tried to bring home as much as she could. I was very proud of her. There was so much more that I wanted to do for her but I figured I would wait till she asked me for help. I didn’t want to put any pressure on her. While Bozena was in college I was a senior in high school. Since I was an athlete I didn’t have as much time to do other things. On the other hand, Bozena didn’t play any sports but she was there to support me as much as she could. She liked music and always wanted to learn how to play a guitar. She also liked to draw and paint. I was totally different. I hated art classes and singing. Well that’s because I couldn’t do either so it bothered me to do something I couldn’t do. We both supported each other no matter what we did. It was kind of like magnets and how opposites attract.
As time wore on, my graduation day has come and Bozena helped me pick out a dress. After my graduation I had plenty of time so I wanted to take Bozena to Island of Adventure in Orlando. She was very excited to ride all the rides. I warned her about couple of rides but she seemed like she could take it. It was the most amazing time I had with a friend like Bozena. When we returned she thanked me and said that she couldn’t wait to go again. As the week was passing by she wanted to go out with couple new friends that she met in school. I had no idea she was making new friends. I thought she would be excited to tell me not to hide it from me. Not to say I was jealous but very disappointed but I had a feeling of insecurity. Couple of days later she introduced me to her new friends. There was something different about her friends. They all wore black and had chains on their clothing. I was afraid of what was going to happen to Bozena. I would have never thought she would like things like that. All of her friends had very dark make up on. I find that be intriuging but also scary. I didn’t want to say anything. After I took her home she called me and asked if I liked her new friends. I didn’t know what to say. I only asked if they were okay. She laughed and said that they were gothic. Gothic! What exactly was gothic? I didn’t want to go into details.
“During the time of the Roman Empire, Cicero had his own beliefs on friendship. Cicero believed that in order to have a true friendship with someone there must be all honesty and truth. If there isn’t, then this isn’t a true friendship. In that case, friends must be one hundred percent honest with each other and put one hundred percent of their trust in the other person. Cicero also believed that for people to be friends with another person, they must do things without the expectation that their friend will have to repay them. He also believes that if a friend is about to do something wrong, and something that goes against your morals, you shouldn’t compromise your morals.” (On Friendship, Cicero)
As days went by the picture of her friends could not be erased from my mind. The next day I saw Bozena, she had died her hair black and wore all black. That’s when I didn’t know how to act or speak to her and that’s when things started to change in our friendship. What happened? I couldn’t be mad. I was always taught to respect others no matter what. If this is something she wanted to do I was not going to stay in her way. I graduated from high school, worked over the summer. We grew further apart and I got used to not having another friend like Bozena. Eventually the few phone calls I got, disappeared and I wouldn’t hear from here for months. I am just another ordinary person, like everyone else, I believe I can succeed without a friend. Even though this friendship didn’t go as well as I hoped it would, I am still standing tall and keeping my head up. There were many things that have hurt me through this friendship but it only made me stronger and opened up my mind.
Looking around I see people walk by themselves and ask myself if they are alone because they don’t have any friends or because they choose to be alone. Did they have a past like me? Can they trust anyone again? I do not regret the past with my friend. Even till this day I would give her a hand and help her out. I didn’t understand what happened. I sometimes think people come to croosroads in there lives and make decisions that will effect them forever. I heard a quote one time and I believe it is fitting to my situation.
“Men kick friendship around like a football and doesn’t seem to break. Women treat it like glass and it falls to pieces.” (Anne Lindbergh)
I have an older brother and I see how he treats his friends but they seem to always be there, I tried to hold a true friend close but it broke away. Friends come and go but the memories cannot be erased. There will always be a time when you think back and say why and how everything happened. You want everyone around you to have a friend and have someone you can lean on. I find that having friends is the same thing as being alone. You can lose by yourself the same way you could with the friend. You can call or scream when you need help, but will they really be there? A friend can ruin and save a life, but you don’t know what you have until it’s gone.